wide-eyed nights

so I am going to bed at a decent time, but I am laying in my bed for hours upon hours with my eyes wide open. ever since I stepped off that bus from the train from the plane which was just one of 5 planes in two days, I have been exhausted. I just managed to conclude something about something today--three days later. I woke up at 1:30pm without the knowledge of where I was and a massive muscle ache in my shoulder on Tuesday. I showered and made my way to the office, leisurely of course. While there I was pleasantly reminded of how great the people at YWAM Skien are. They welcomed me with many hugs, 'glad you're back, we missed you!', and congratulations on the new boy! I could barely tell a story so I managed a smile. Missionaries are used to overwhelming times...they will wait for me to be ready to tell them more later. I opened my email to see 44 new! Guess how long that took me to read through? 5 hours!! I was so absent in every way.

as I slithered in bed i realized that there was this curious feeling in my skin. i somehow knew I would not sleep very well. i tossed and turned for hours. Finally after really sensing a presence of God and the small multitude of angels around me...I got up. I read, listened to some sermons, wrote in my journal, and prayed. I have been getting up between the hours of 2 and 6 every night. Doing just this. I believe I have found my purpose. I am an intercessor. I find joy in spending time in God's presence. Just being there.

it's like when I find my identity in this way I can just as well say no to other things that are in the way. it makes my choices very specific.

so I will be discovering this calling more. intercession in painting, worship, music, relationship, mentoring...and life!

any comments?

if I had a role model from the Bible that was not Jesus...it would be Mary of Bethany. She rocks!