nice pants

Trapped in the Solitary Confinement of my Mind

So, perhaps I will divulge to you the thoughts that go through my head. I had a friend once that said to me from the get go....."we want to know what goes on in that head, and the distance from your head to your mouth is too far for you....tell us, tell us....there's something there." Well, it was nice of my friend to show compassion and believe there was something there. I know there is truth to it. A good example of my situation happened one day while sitting at the Tulip Festival with my best friend Laurie and her boyfriend Tony. Her sister Ang was there with her husband Brandon. I joined...and we became sort of a large group talking about this and that. We are all pretty close, but something happened which proved how close we were. Laurie was talking about her decision to move to Kansas City and leave Tony---the love of her life in Ames, IA for a year. I saw her do something so amazing.

"Tony, how do you feel about it?"

Now, you can imagine that they did plenty of talking about this topic before we even gathered together. I know they did. BUt still what was it about us--the group---that got to hear the intimate emotions and feelings of this separation challenge next year. I felt special...I felt really 'in'. I suppose I would be willing to share if someone asked, but now I am on the outside...not inside my mind. I only know what thoughts I have and what prayers I have without much accountability to the world of people around me. I can't remember if I have divulged to anyone what my dreams really are. And what if I did. What risks do I suffer?

I would say now---I have gone on these last months trapped inside my own mind, unable to share and express what I really feel. And this...for an artist is disturbing. I long to be fully exposed sometimes because what right do I have to those thoughts that I keep in my mind and in my heart. Yeah, privacy but I struggle with that. Where does it talk about privacy in the Bible? I haven't looked. If you know, then tell. But one more thing---is it enough to just think and pray alone, or is it that 'something missing' to end psychological silence and spiritual sleepiness.

What if I said something that was wrong
or surprising
or hurtful
or even

truthful

Arts For Missions

Celebration and Send-Off for Erika Hydeen to YWAM Skien,Norway

June 3, 2007

2:00PM-4:30PM

First Reformed Church

Orange City, IA

I really hope a bunch of people come to this event. I am so excited about all the participants who have agreed to help..to sing, dance, and make bars. It is all coming together in the last weeks. Seriously, even in this God has used my experience to stretch me. I need to just trust him and the work with go...and will come and will be patient. I have written seven songs this year and I am thrilled to be able to debut them at the Arts for Missions. There are some art pieces that I am going to sell, however that is sort of hard to do. I just really want to create the atmosphere of celebration for all God has done this year in the lives of the people I was around---which changed me! I am so thankful. But I also don't want to miss the opportunity to say good-bye to all my lovely and dear friends. Who knows when we shall meet again. It is all in the hands of the Lord. Amen

May I be here?

It's about time I think. And for that I am sorry. The time has passed and I can not even imagine me filling in what has happened. I can say this:

All what God has done this year, come spilling out now. And I am a mess of plans and thoughts and prayers and thanksgiving. As I am filled up like a sponge, I am squeezed and ouch!

Here's the big news.

On July 24 I am moving to Norway. I will be the creative worship staff there.

With reverence to my family and friends here, I say carefully that I am thrilled about this decision, and I am ready to start my life in Norway.

Wow.

More later----let's get into it again.

Thanks for checking this out.

Much love,

Erika Amerika