Trapped in the Solitary Confinement of my Mind

So, perhaps I will divulge to you the thoughts that go through my head. I had a friend once that said to me from the get go....."we want to know what goes on in that head, and the distance from your head to your mouth is too far for you....tell us, tell us....there's something there." Well, it was nice of my friend to show compassion and believe there was something there. I know there is truth to it. A good example of my situation happened one day while sitting at the Tulip Festival with my best friend Laurie and her boyfriend Tony. Her sister Ang was there with her husband Brandon. I joined...and we became sort of a large group talking about this and that. We are all pretty close, but something happened which proved how close we were. Laurie was talking about her decision to move to Kansas City and leave Tony---the love of her life in Ames, IA for a year. I saw her do something so amazing.

"Tony, how do you feel about it?"

Now, you can imagine that they did plenty of talking about this topic before we even gathered together. I know they did. BUt still what was it about us--the group---that got to hear the intimate emotions and feelings of this separation challenge next year. I felt special...I felt really 'in'. I suppose I would be willing to share if someone asked, but now I am on the outside...not inside my mind. I only know what thoughts I have and what prayers I have without much accountability to the world of people around me. I can't remember if I have divulged to anyone what my dreams really are. And what if I did. What risks do I suffer?

I would say now---I have gone on these last months trapped inside my own mind, unable to share and express what I really feel. And this...for an artist is disturbing. I long to be fully exposed sometimes because what right do I have to those thoughts that I keep in my mind and in my heart. Yeah, privacy but I struggle with that. Where does it talk about privacy in the Bible? I haven't looked. If you know, then tell. But one more thing---is it enough to just think and pray alone, or is it that 'something missing' to end psychological silence and spiritual sleepiness.

What if I said something that was wrong
or surprising
or hurtful
or even

truthful