The culmination of the last weeks has been way too much for me to handle. The art show is done.....The earth trembling visit from a Missouri friend, the culmination of what God is doing....oh how the spirit spews forth its merciful fire. As I say in my leadership class, "I just can not handle how loud the voice of God is into my heart." Turn it down! Turn that voice down......It booms like a double clap thunder into the most delicate part of my ears. Shouldn't have cleaned those ears with so much vigor (love to use a q-tip and its killing me) What has the Lord done? What is he doing? I can not say. But I know that I have stepped into a great vast of deep water and it is over my head....And flooding my heart bloop bloop bloop bloop all the way to the top. I am completely filled and run when I have to sing songs about being filled.....because I am watery in the eyes as it spews out.....overflowing. How God is going to use this water-logged girl? Show me God. Has anyone seen the Lord? Tell me. Has anyone heard the Lord? Tell me. Why can I be burned by this all consuming fire and feel so alone. Where are you, my redemptive solitude? Where are you my speeding road....as I hit the pavement with my face. Who will see the Lord? Why won't you say? Can you hear the vivacious voice that calls out to the faithful. Answer me! Why won't you live desperate for him? Why wont you? What is holding you back. I cant stand that thing between you and God. I hate that thing you put before God. Throw it in the fire. When will my heart be released from this prison of blessings that drown me?
What are you doing with that suitcase? Where are you going. Are you stealing away?
Stay.
And do what? And be still before the Lord.
I have no place to lay my head here. Who will celebrate God?
I shall.
10.17.2006
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3 comments:
Hey Erika... sounds like you need an encouragement!1 Corinthians 15:58 - "therefore, my dear brother (sister in this case), stand firm. Let NOTHING move you. Always give youselves fully to the work of the Lord, becuae you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain." - Stand firm Erika... it's not about what you do not know or understand about God; but it's about the fact that he is God! And in all you do- even if it seems like nothing, if you're doing what you can to fufill what God has put in front of you then nothing is in vain. NOTHING is cast out into the flames... all comes to God as worship and praise! So... STAND FIRM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will too, celebrate God that is. And your wonderfulness!
i miss you erika. in england now, my first day in center of london today, fun! love you
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