The boat!

i often speak in parables. like Jesus.

there was a woman (because I am gender specific, this being about my life i can do that), who lived on an island. she was sure that she was supposed to be there, but there was some things about that island that were not true. this island was a place of the past for her, she had lived there for some time and she was growing out of it...and this place was haunting her of her past, her failures, and her lonliness.

there was another land far off in the distance over rough waters and cold depths. this land had not been in the picture before...it had been so foggy for years. often the woman just walked around the island, touching the cold water...shuttering with fright. 'I would never go on that water!' But as this other land becomes more visible as clouds and fog lifts she wants so badly to explore and go.

the water is cold
the water is dark
the water is deep
the water is long
the water is fear
the water is life

so she stands on that island with her back to the goal. there is a desire to go, but that would risk something. there would be a change. she would never go back to that island again. she would never be the same again. she questions, what would that island have that my life here doesn't have? people. love. truth. community. I wonder.

above the crashing waves she can hear a voice calling out. 'COME! NOW IS THE TIME! JOIN ME HERE!' it could be a warning, it could be an invitation, it could be a TRICK! Why could she be here all this time and be happy, growing, and living and now feel this deep longing for something else. There is a desire in her to discover the cold, deep, long, fears of life.

how will she cross this treacherous water?

she stands with her back to the water.

little does she know that the Lord has provided for her if she would turn towards the goal, set foot towards the danger, she would see with her earthly eyes the boat waiting on the shore. It is only when she turns to go that she will see it. the boat will make no sound to announce its providential arrival. the Lord is the keeper of all boats. He can give one when He wants to.

perhaps if she turns and sees then she will go in. then she sets sail across the wide wet spaces of extreme aliveness. but the storms arise and the temptation to go back stir inside of her as the warring waters stir on the outside. she never told anyone she was trying to cross the dangerous waters so it will look like she was just out for a boat ride. then....she didnt fail in the eyes of others. (there was no one on her island, but she understood condemnation, failure, and hypocracy) if she turns now...she saves her life, and she saves her face. people won't know she tried and she won't be ashamed later.

perhaps she goes through the storms and crashes.
perhaps she goes through the storms and drowns.
perhaps she goes through the storms and arrives.

her life will never be the same. and as she stands on that shore she notices a woman just like her on an island like the one she just left. wandering, lost, alone, scared, and ashamed.

she cries out to the woman there

'COME! NOW IS THE TIME! JOIN ME HERE!'