it's amazing and blue

I love my life right now. I have always been a fan of living, but if I could capture this time in a bottle and then revisit it every once in a while...I would. I don't know what I thought it would be like to have Will here. I maybe thought it would be good not to have to suffer my loneliness ALONE anymore. I perhaps considered my emotional instability to be resolved. I wondered if I would have a closer look at my future in an instant. But you know what I have so far? An overflowing fountain of bubbling joy. I think that is enough. I walk in the halls and I am just LIT UP! Helina, my roommate said to me that she was so glad to see I was joyful. As though other days I am not.....hmm. I think it's a new joy. I sleep like a baby at night. I go to bed on time! I awake to see the possibilities of the Holy Spirit. I think it has to be because of Will. But then I think I am giving him too much credit. He is a wonderful man of God.....but I think that God is much more credible. God has really healed my heart in the last weeks. I have been struggling with a judgement issue by holding unforgiveness in my heart. It started a month ago--and then I was walking through some practical steps of forgiveness and prayer. I felt just two weeks ago that I had connected with God in my heart over the issue and in forgiving this person for those things I can not change----there was freedom. I have seen a BREAKTHROUGH in the spiritual realm and even the communication realm here. It has always been hard to be here...but two weeks ago---it changed. I had several significant conversations and all of them....pretty significant (about me leaving) ended with peace in my heart. I was so careful to guard my heart and then realized that God had already let the overflow of peace flow out. AMEN! Of course that is the story before Will came. So now you might know how I can be walking on clouds. I wouldn't lie about stuff like that. I am a happy person but at times my emotions get me! oh they do. I have to tell them to STABALIZE IN THE NAME OF JESUS! It's good to be honest about how I feel---but not decide my identity because of it. I am constantly in a battle to put my emotions under the authority of Jesus. There is not enough time in this life to see all those thoughts in my head come to fruition. I get myself into dark messes where I am 'looking at my own navel'. So lift your head girl. Get under the authority of your friend Jesus...and LIVE!
Is this a message for you too? I wonder sometimes if we just don't know where to start with the thoughts so we don't ever start getting them under control. I guess my hope and message to you today if you are in this position....is to really ask the Holy Spirit to show you where the lies are....where the unforgiveness is....and what thoughts are not from God. And as a good friend of mine says, 'Have grace for yourself.' I suppose God has enough....but do we?

I must say that another amazing thing exists in BLUE GRASS MUSIC. I thought I would update you on the last weekend...before Will came and before it got REALLY amazing. Look here at these wonderful photos of the cowboys of Norway.

I could not believe I was with men over 45 who were passionate about blue grass all Friday! They loved to talk about themselves too....about how great they are, how awesome their equipment was, their studios, their tours, their experiences in AMERICA....and all the blue grass musicians that they idol. To tell you the truth...I don't really care. I just came to play the music. I had never played before and that was something these people had a hard time swallowing. They of course have wrapped thier lives around this music so to meet someone who is only 1% passionate about it....and 99% humored by it was not their time to impress. Nope.....didn't care about it all. I just had a really fun time playing those fiddle licks. It was a real music gig. I got paid and everything. The money I got will help me pay my rent for the rest of my time in Norway. YEAH! God knows my needs. Of course....how will we get to Poland for the evangelism week? Don't know...but we shall see how God works it out.

Any gigs you want to hire me for? blue grass, classical, irish? I am open to learning!!!