a German update....for once in my life

wow. what an adventure here in Germany. The comments have been correct coming from family and friends. 'It looks like you are really busy there in Germany.' Yes....tis true. But I believe that Christa my sista and I are having a really amazing time. It has been amazing to be here with the Albiez family and their amazing staff in the two hotels here in the Black Forest. I just dont know what to say. There have been so many adventures and new things.

check it out here on You Tube and on Facebook (click here). Just to get caught up.

A trip to Germany & so much more!

Today my sister and I are flying to Germany. If you think of us late in the Monday evening...we are probably somewhere in the middle of the train ride towards Frieburg. I have asked a friend of mine who lives down near the beautiful Black Forest if we could come and visit them for the Christmas season. I hope we get there by Christmas at least. We lost contact for a bit....me and Benjamin ( the friend who lives, works, and loves the German forestry there) and just yesterday received a message about what we might be doing as we visit him. His family has the overall run for two beautiful hotels there. I have always wanted to be a part of a group like that. They have the hotels packed for the season and we can come too! I of course offered my services as a violinist...and we could even work in the kitchen peeling potatoes, shoveling snow and whatever they needed. I guess Benjamin took up the offer and now we are going to be helping where we can. We will be the 'animators' of the hotel. I know I have three violin gigs...and on the 26th after dinner there is a DANCING LESSONS WITH ERIKA HYDEEN! Can you believe it.

So....we are about to set out on our journey. I hope to keep you updated on the journey.
Spa
Skiing
Singing
Dancing
Eating
Serving
Laughing
Speed Scrabbling
Sleeping
Christmasing with amazing Germans!

Merry Christmas!


oh and by the way....William my amazing boyfriend has a plane ticket to Norway. He will join us here on staff from March 22, 2009. I am so excited! Yeah. God provided so much for us!!!
Testimony of the Holy Spirit!!

YWAM Skien Christmas party

Roommate #1
Helina the Estonian Queen
She looks gentle here, but she really likes to wrestle. I'd say Ragnhild and I won last night!

Roommate #2
Ragnhild our Norwegian Delight
She made this dress she is wearing. She might even move the buttons on my coat someday!

The winners of YWAM Skien's first ever
D A N C I N G . W I T H . T H E . S T A F F
Tim (England) & Melissa (USA)

Me & Marcea
(DTS staff from USA--my one on one gal and a housemate to Sarah Oliver from England while they took a DTS in Kona, HI. I met Sarah in Denver. I met Marcea in Norway. cool!)

I am so encouraged by what God is doing here at the base. I have been saying quite some revealing things in the last weeks. I hope you can just walk with me on this journey. There is no fear when Jesus is near. At this Christmas party we had some time of worship and during this time people were open and sharing about their lives. People from the base started to be transparent and even repent publicly for hindrances in their lives. I also had a break through. I was keeping myself from dancing for so long and on this night I began again. It has been a hard and long journey with dancing. Ever since last year I slowly gave it up---was more and more convinced that I was too old to dance, too tall, too fat, too wannabe, too something...and the joy has been stripped of it. Maybe I am one of those....but I don't believe it is supposed to affect me like this. I reject those lies and now begin to step into what I should do here in this life. I have lost some joy somewhere and then on Friday at the party I began to dance in the worship and that joy swelled within me. My heart almost burst. God really showed up with his joy in my heart. It has been a long week---hard, but good. I think it has been the most honest and open I have ever been on a blog. I am so glad that it has stirred in you too. The comments I get are ones of concern and help. thank you. I see that the shallow blog entries do not stir like the honest ones do. I intend to stir....to awaken...to bring light to darkness.

now it is Wednesday and I have been discussing with people about my job here. I wonder sometimes if I am not in the right job. I have to seek it out more. Should I switch some things? Shall I pursue the area I actually feel called to? What does that mean for me? Hmm.....there must be answers to these questions. And I am not afraid of asking them anymore.

I hope you are not afraid of asking the Holy Spirit questions. Ask Him the hard ones....and when that peace comes OH it is worth every moment of doubt. I figure if I don't ask the question like---'Is my boyfriend Will really supposed to move to Norway in March?' and I just go about my business not even thinking to ask, consider and desire God's heart. I think it is not a matter of doubt......as though if I dare ask God will probably say no. Erika if you just keep your mouth shut and do what you want than everything will work out. NO....this is not the issue. I have been realizing that if I DO open my mouth and open my heart to God....asking him what he wants----I usually get this peace that confirms in my heart the things that have already come my way. So now....in all things I want to first listen, than discover, ask, ask again, listen, discover, and of course keep walking the whole time. I have peace about Will coming. He does too. I know that now. I just never want to be STUCK in a place that I can not consider...than reconsider. I want to obey God....and this is how I am learning that. The reward is good---so trust and obey!!!

it's the last day of work today and my sister comes on Saturday. We fly to Germany on Monday! Wow!!!!

i am not in this alone

i understand that many of you are unable to actually read my blog entries if it contains confusing abstract details about darkness, tunnels, rats, the power of God, and a random guy named Gary Sadler. I am sorry. You should hear my roommates when I tell them things going on in my heart and head. I ask them what they think and they are like, 'Um....I dont know if I understand, I don't get it....you've been talking for like 20 minutes straight and how should I respond?' I ask that the Lord will first of all bless them back for all the time they have spent trying to understand my abstract thinking and second of all that the Lord would give them fresh understanding. It's hard to be stuck in my mind. I guess sometimes I think that others see what I see....but it is not true. They do not. I have to be very clear about what I am saying...then someone might get 2% of it. Think of those odds. yikes.

I am sorry if you were confused by all the things that seem to be happening in my life. I am going to try and be more open...not so abstract.

if you wonder if I am living in this darkness and letting the spiritual warfare just overtake me....then please consider the fact that I am working here in Norway as a missionary...called to the job I have for just a time like this. I am fighting for victory in Jesus' name. I have only just begun to share with you more openly about all the things that I have seen for almost two years. This is hard to just admit openly. I mean when you are living in a place, it is your home...the people are your people...it is hard to say it is not best. For example, living here at YWAM Skien is good. The people are amazing and the visions are out of this world. But as I am here leading worship, just seeing people get free in front of God...I realize that I am doing my own fighting. I am fighting for worship and prayer to be the heart of this base. I am fighting the principalities that keep worship and prayer from just exploding all over us. I am not fighting the nice and pleasant people here. They are affected by the pressure to keep 'normal' to keep 'under-control' so I have to just come in with the heart that God has given me and BE! LIVE! What could be harder than that? Seriously. Life gets sucked out of the bones of people here....it is easily replaced with routine, performance, and standardizing actions. It breaks my heart. So to explain the darkness one more time.....hope you get it.

I am underground. I am feeling around on the walls. I am getting a sense for the foundations. (practically....I am using the voice of the Holy Spirit, using my heart, emotions, observations to consider what is the situation like here in Norway and in YWAM Skien). It is dark down here....(in these thoughts and prayers). I am not sad ( because this is my job that I am called to). Yet, I weep bitterly (for the heart of God has shown me deep things....broken walls, potential crumbling, areas of danger). I pray. (seeking wisdom to know what to do). I try something (desiring to be obedient to Him). I usually hit my nose on the wall....(ouch). I realize as I am trying to rebuild these ruins here....underground....that I am getting hurt in the process. (this happens in ministry too. I am trying to let my heart be vulnerable for a bigger purpose than myself and I get hurt...wounded...and discouraged). Sometimes I wonder----'does anyone know I am down here caring about the foundations? (Does anyone know that I care about the hearts of the people here in Norway). Sometimes I wonder---'does anyone want the foundations to be fixed? (Why is it so hard to lead people into worship? Do they even want to be giving God glory? Is it performance once again??) Sometimes I wonder----'is there anyone else bumping their noses into walls...feeling the holes in the foundation....wishing it would heal, become strong, be what it was supposed to be' (is there anyone who will come alongside and weep bitter tears about this? who? who?)

So...that is the big deal in my life right now. God has revealed so much. I am amazed. I am not however in the least bit discouraged. I am more enlightened and encouraged because through this openness and transparency to the heart of God....He has begun to heal the wall. By recognizing the hole...pointing at it...and declaring victory for it to be fixed by the power of Jesus,----He started to do it!

I am amazed at the great God we have.

The tears were not for me. They were not because I was going off the deep end and having an emotional breakdown. The tears were for something bigger than me. The heart behind it all. The faith behind it all needs to be boosted. My heart broke because I felt God's heart breaking. I wept because something was missing. And now the tears of sorrow have brought reason to see joy.

That is victory.
That is God.


p.s. I heard a couple amazingly confirming things from my wonderful boyfriend too---which made me cry different tears---of joy, renewal, and delight. That is victory. That is God.

amen.

tending the cracks

today is the Christmas party in skien. i realize that I am not a fan of big get togethers...because if I have to plan them they are a disaster. if the party has anything to do with my home, my things, my time, and my understanding friends.....it will be okay. But I would not enjoy to plan a party for strangers...to do things that have to impress them ALL! yikes. Ragnhild is planning the Christmas party and she is doing a great job. I hope she enjoys it while she plans. Helina is sick today. She has been having headaches for weeks now. She will get better through the blood of Jesus!

i am walking in the darkness. i keep figuring it out. many things that used to bring me joy do not anymore. things that were fun, enjoyable and inspiring now bring me pain, burden, and weight on my shoulders. i find myself looking for things to do that will bring me fulfillment. i am a bit embarrassed to say that as a worship leader I have been so disconnected with God. I have been dealing with grief because I missed Him so much these last months. i just feel so lost in the darkness at times. now...don't get me wrong this is not a darkness that is depressive, but a darkness that swallows light, drowns me, brings me bruises from bumping my nose on the walls as I try to find the foundations. that is what it is....i am underground. there is nothing bad about being underground. i am walking in the sewer system here in Norway. I feel like I am searching my heart and this nation for the foundations of Life. It is a burden....but I value it so much. I have been quiet about what I have found in the past years. I have kept this discovery to myself within my prayers for answers. i am bumping around in the darkness down here, running my nose square into the things that I fear the most: embarrassment, rejection, loneliness, and failure. the walls of the foundation this nation is standing on are critical. i can see it within the walls of the YWAM base sometimes. What holds this place up? We are visionary for sure...but without that heart of worship and prayer it is going to just collapse and come to ruin. I put so much of myself into this place because I have been called here. I had a breakdown this week. It was good to just let God capture my heart and break it. I want to be transparent. I don't want to cower anymore. The solution to the situation is still a mystery. how to patch up a broken wall? how shall we rebuild the ancient ruins?

i felt my broken heart all week. every day this week I wept bitterly. i think I just am in the beginning stages of realizing my loss---in not obeying God when He wants to be with me. I am just weeping because of the knowledge of who God is and how amazing He is. i have not cried in a long time. i have become a bit of a shell---hurts tend to do this to you. art didn't affect me. music was so unsatisfying (still is....I have a hard time doing it with passion and not just to communicate in a worship setting). exercise is not happening. things that inspired do not anymore. i miss God so much. I dont want anything else but Jesus. what if my job here at YWAM Skien was not to bring the results of worship but was to first and foremost reveal the need of God...and the longing. if through bitter tears of sorrow i can see my way through this darkness than so be it. i might not see the healings, i might not see the foundations be rebuilt. perhaps I will weep again because I do not see the results my heart is working so desperately for...but then the Lord will keep me and restore me. this is His work. not mine. I am grateful I am being used. i believe I am coming back to a long lost hope and prayer.

'Lord, if only one will come closer to You---than I would be satisfied in your mercy.'

my prayer is that I am not bringing a new mask for a mess. i am not afraid of mess. i am only beginning to see how consuming the mess can be. am I strong enough to receive joy in mess....instead of stress.

Lord help me. I long for you....and miss you.

I know that I am not the only one that has these longings. those that are closest to me have been tending to their own cracks and messes----longing for God. I see the strain in their eyes, and hear the deep sighs. WHAT IS HAPPENING GOD? Why am I in this? Why are we being shaken to our cores? Helina says she would like to have a coffee date sometime just so she can sit and talk. She said, 'Erika, you should hear yourself when you sleep.' (am I snoring?) no. she said she just was concerned with the deep sighing and grunts and gurgles I produce. i should listen to what my body is telling me. I guess I have recognized a deep troubling but who knew that it would have a physical sound unconsciously. So, whatever is going on is not hidden anymore. God is stirring up my insides and at the same time has desperately taken my close friends and stirred them too.

i wonder if God is going to use this blog entry as a eye opener for many...for you. this darkness we walk in is not against man, but against the powers and principalities of that darkness. we are not alone. i am not alone. the darkness and the potential fears however present they are....do not scare me. I will not give room for fear.

but now....you know what to pray about. if you will.

without fear because of the Life given on the cross,
Erika

ha! this is ironic. Gary, the guy I have been talking about is now commenting on my blog. Aparently I am good at telling tall tales...or making up stories I guess. you can read the true stories on his comments. sorry Gary....my information was from the horse----RUNAR! He likes to tell stories too...and stretch things. I guess I believe them. I will check my stories from now on. I receive this as a healthy correction in my blogging life. you know I desire to live righteously so it will start with my blog. i might actually start by telling what is happening in my life. i might begin by actually letting you know how hard it is to be here in YWAM Skien. I suppose it means I am going to let it on thick-----well at least as thick as it needs to be. truth hurts.....but truth changes things. anyway...back to Gary----great guy as I have said. really funny. and nosy (he found my blog out of all of them---what a crazy guy)
i've heard the cd as it has progressed to the mastering stage. it is good. there are some strange little details to work out. for example there was a violin part just plunked on to the end of one song....in which I did not play on in the live or the studio. they just took it and made it work. it sounds a bit wierd because I would not have actually played some of those things if I were playing for the song it was plunked onto. and there is one note that is just sour! oi. but it really sounds great overall. i just have to be honest about it. I think Gary is giving me a hard time because I gave him one. the whole process was fun, but there were some things that made it great. Gary was leading us in the studio recording with his hands...and big facial expressions and all. one time he and the other vocal lead went to the studio and I got to BE GARY! I was doing it like him...with the faces and the hands. Hope that didn't hurt your feelings Gary! It was fun to push the 'record' button on the keyboard. I was sitting in the pilot's chair for a little of one song. Anyway....i hope you can all forgive me for not researching my sources about Gary. I take full responsibility and I let my pride fall. I humble myself before the truth. I realize that I just did not know Gary like I could have. but......it's okay and grace is there for me and you! do you know Susan Ashton? is she a world renowned singer? guess who told me she was.....RUNAR! He is one tall tale himself.

i just experienced some amazing breakthrough here. this week is a special one. i am fasting for a specific reason and i am beginning to hear God's voice...seek Him and find Him again. it's good that the worship leader says that. what a tragedy to be any other way. oi. we are in a fight against the powers and principalities of darkness----not each other. sometimes I get the sense that people I know and love are falling between the cracks that are opening up around us. the cracks that are holding our foundations together. those cracks are swallowing up people here. things are getting messy---and beautiful. just like my boyfriend says: 'I'm not afraid of messy'. I think I challenge him in this area often. (if you are reading this: i miss you) He challenges me too. The more I realize that this battle is not about me...but it is about God and his desire to be worshiped through these people than I have to do everything with the Holy Spirit to see breakthrough. I have not felt the support of the base at all in what I am doing. some comments have come to me last year that spoiled me. I was not strong enough to deal with them and to combat. i just climbed in a hole and cried. and i started to ferment there. then I went to the school of worship and things got harder for me. i met my fears on the side of the road.....and they beat me up and left me to cry again. the road has been lonely. the road has been so hard!!! Tonight I finally got to share about this with my small group. I dont know why I have kept silent all this time. I think it is because i believed that people did not care. i was getting hurt because people were hurt. but.....listen---something is happening and it is messy. it might involve confrontation. it might involve people being honest and even angry. it might involve redemption. and it will involve righteousness and obedience. halleluiah! i'm just fed up with darkness. sick of it. the enemy is going to get it! oh yeah. The Holy Spirit....is in Skien! Amen.

video updates

LIVE recording of Surround in YWAM Skien



Recording: There is No Fear with Gary Sadler

surround

that is the title of the cd.

it is not made yet...but it is being made as we read this. Last night was the LIVE recording in the culture house and it went well...for the most part. There were two songs that we really crumbled on, but we had a second chance at one...and the other was the TITLE SONG!! no joke. the song entitled Surround was a bit of a messy deal during the concert. oh well. there are masters of technology out there.

my voice is hashed. i am so tired....like twitching tired, but I am encouraged. I believe that this cd will reach many people. that is....if they buy it. there was supposed to be a break through in the cd sales, but only 33 bought some-----disappointing. there were 230 people at the concert. we even gave them a great deal too. oh well....you can't buy them all.

i hope to post a video soon. i had one violin part and it went really well. later I realized that playing the violin is a major strength. i was handicapped a bit when I was just singing. i could not manage to express with melodies what I had in my heart. with the violin I can actually express what is in my heart. Gary told me that I was a very good violin player. that means alot coming from someone living in Nashville. He told me he has known hundreds of violinists and yet I have proved to him over and over that I have a beautiful and natural melodic tone. it is a tender mix between country and blue grass....but really more like something that is celtic and born out of worship. that is what it is....born out of worship. I have not studied any violinists and i actually do not know famous violinists. maybe I should. but then again....., but then again.......

yeah. do you know any?

our last rehearsal

The recording is tonight! Last night we finally put the singers with the band. It was a bit nerve wracking to believe that we would get all of the words right...and we would be singing from our hearts. It's a hard connection. To be perfect, but to be natural...and to be worshiping and not performing. It is a good lesson to learn of course. We have practiced so much...hours and hours of singing. I am awake now on this Saturday morning and my voice is rough. I don't know what to do to make it clear and angelic. I hope I can participate with my whole sound. And if you ask anyone here...that whole sound---is loud! So I might just want to participate with my whole heart and part of my sound.

These are the girls singing from the stage. Alice (YWAM Skien leader, with the face), Kaja, Hild Mari, and Maria. It is good pressure for us to learn these LIVE album concepts.

A stolen photo taken of us relaxing between songs.

There is a lot of energy coming out of these people. I sometimes wonder if I am in Norway! It will be fun at least to be here with them.

I hope the rest of the weekend is going good. I am sort of crammed into this position and can't really go around and enjoy the other parts. I missed the meeting last night....which was packed they say. I hope today is just the same! We could be surprised how many youth come to be together. I know that my roommate Ragnhild is just organizing everything like always! She is great. SO great!!!

the weekend

since last weekend....it has flown here in Skien. I think the finger of God is in all of this...He continues to bring unity amongst His people. The events leading up to this weekend's excitement are all part of God's plan. What is this weekend?

We are recording a LIVE album here in Skien. We have invited youth from around the county of Telemark to come and be with us for an encouraging conference called Embrace. I believe it is a great way to combine our hearts and efforts with the churches in Skien as well as take a big step forward in our small world here. It is exciting to think of what God will use this LIVE worship cd for in the years to come. We see the need to encourage youth from around Norway. Many of them are the only Christians in their towns and the towns can be dark places....not just in the winter.
A man named Gary Sadler from Nashville, TN has come to produce this cd. He is doing a fantastic job. I really enjoy getting to know him and.....even Runar admits that without him this thing would be a disaster. He is very clever and creative. His personality is just winning. It is so easy to honor him. He loves the Lord. He was going to start a church with Micheal W Smith many years ago but decided to pull out because Micheal was so much more well known. If you listen to any Susan Ashton cds...than you hear Gary Sadler's songs. It is amazing that we have such a musical genius and Christian music world star with us. AMAZING!

So if you are thinking of thanksgiving and turkey this weekend....try to focus your food stuffed self on Norway for a moment. We are stepping out in a realm we have never stepped out in before and we believe that God is going to do some big things. It will be great!!

Let me know if you want a copy. I can buy one cheap for you in January!

P.S. One of my songs that I wrote in Switzerland is going to be on it. Not played Live...but a hidden track put on there later. I am honored!

rites of the music junky's world

I joined Arvid Petterson (a Christian album musician from Skien) and his make-shift band to Tøfte (near Drammen, Norway) for a Saturday night concert. There were some things I had to learn about the concert scene. There are rites to such an entertainer's entrance.

1. The outfit. What slightly unique items could I find in my closet to complete this winning 'stage outfit'?
I found:
a salmon colored pleated skirt and a grey cardigan (both lost and found items--$0)
black ankle tights--totally a Norwegian winter necessity (hand-me-downs from Anne Randi--$0)
2 black tank tops (Old Navy--$15)
thigh high black and grey striped socks (H&M--$7)
black scarf (Gina Tricot--$7)
Norwegian boots (Kristiansand--$15)
glittery broach to keep the gray cardigan closed (Ragnhild's closet--$0)

2. Loving the stage kids. This is Arvid's youngest daughter Josephine. She and her sister Johanna sing with dad. Only 11 and 14...but they can harmonize well...and are not shy! We're best friends now and will hang out 'off stage' sometime.

3. Eat cake with famous people. This is Charlie Blackwater. He is one of Norway's most talented harmonica players. He is from Kristiansand. This man is so unique...not only do his teeth make him a star....his hard like a rock diaphram muscles do too. His first words to me....'Erika, Erika...I, I'm not a junky.....I, I am a musician!' (well said). He gave me a stage name: FIDDLE ROSE

4. Be willing to WING it! I sat with Arvid in the car on the way there and he told me....'A, B, Bb, C....than repeat that, wait 4 measures...D, C#, C' OK.....now that is without ever hearing the song, or having my violin out. I get to the stage....with my outfit on....and go. A major wing! A large even enormously giant wing!

'Smile' by Arvid Pettersen. I am not playing on this song...but I am dancing and having a good time in the audience.

moving up in the communication world!

we have internet now in our apartment.
and now we are discussing the rules.
helina says we should have time lock box so it cannot be used until after 5pm.
erika says we should be able to talk after midnight!
ragnhild says we should have a schedule and go to bed at midnight

hmm. will this be good.

at least better with our family and friends across the sea.

yeah us!

skien is coming alive!

well...when I feel alive then I feel like the whole city is alive. so...I feel alive! so SKIEN.....you are alive!!

come in and learn and have time with good influences! I am so proud of my students....they areI started lessons this week. I had a group vocal lesson on Wednesday night. I was surprised that more than 15 showed up. They were all so excited about being a part of it. I was impressed! Then last night I had the first Ballroom Dancing Lesson. It was also a HIT! There were close to 25 people there. I taught the basics of Fox Trot and Swing. They love it! The students and staff absolutely love it. I think I might open it up for others to join....like friends from the outside can fantastic. And you know....I am just a teacher in and out. I love to teach and I love to help! It is a great LIFE. Thank you GOD!!! These are my delightful students learning the Fox Trot.

I mean, come on....who will EVER use the Fox Trot? BUt.....it is so fun to learn old fashioned things like this. It teaches so much about posture, man and woman relationships, courtesy, and appropriate physical contact....according to YWAM values. YEAH!

so fun! I think you should be here!

more photos of fun November in Skien....click here

some old videos to share

August in Switzerland:
At the Hotel Schweizerhof in Lucerne, Switzerland with Richie Elles. Amazing Spontaneous Music!



September in Norway:
I am playing the violin in these performances here playing in Ålesund, Norway for the YWAM European Arts Gathering (find me in the back right corner) . I had no practice. I just was thrown in. Nice!!

First one is: 'Intro' by Chris DeLuke
Second one is by Gåte

the end is always the beginning

New videos posted! I want to share what we played tonight at the conference. It is only a snippet of the two songs...but you can hear the violin soaring through the air. Just imagine 1300 women crammed in that church. wow.

'You are my Sanctuary' by Gary Sadler



'Be Near' by Shane & Shane



Alice, the singer, is the base leader in Skien. I have really enjoyed getting to know her more on our trip. She has become like a big sister or an aunt to me. If she ever makes a cd and travels around Europe with it....she will call me and I will be her violinist! YES!

I don't know why I was here at this conference yet. But i do know that one girl had heard me play violin at Catch the Fire in Oslo and was so blessed as I was walking around the audience and playing to people. She was sitting next to a man that I stopped by to play for. She was so tired in her mind and heart and when I played it just brought streams of refreshing tears to her eyes. Alice suggested that I get my violin and play for her again right now. GREAT IDEA! I went to fetch it.....and then realized that I should be doing this more. Why not? The violin is my spiritual weapon. I use it to bring joy to sadness and healing to brokenness. She was double blessed as she listened to the private concert we had. God used me. I am used.

Unfortunately, I have been having these painful ear aches lately. I have gotten them at other times of my life and now it has been plaguing me since I flew to Norway from the states two weeks ago. It was in the right ear...now it is in the left. Every touch of the outside of my ear is painful and also there is a deep thumping and dull ache. It's painful. Alice with her reckless hands gave it an accidental big smack and I writhed in pain. Perhaps I should see a doctor? I bet it is just deep in the head congestion like the other times.

Well on my way out of the meeting...which lasted until 10 minutes before midnight!.......I saw Carol sitting on the chairs. I was like....'no, why is she just sitting there...so available?' I wanted her to pray for me...for my ear and I also wanted to ask her how her knee was (the one that Will prayed for while we were in Redding, CA) I battled a bit in my mind...'no, she has been praying for 2 hours now...she is tired, you don't need the specific prayer from her, just go....it's late!' BUT NO!! I was bold and I asked an ministry teammate if I could have prayer from Carol. She said YES. So I knelt down beside her and as I started to ask for healing prayer for my ears I just wept. I could hardly speak. The words that came out were..' I'm afraid I will go deaf, my ears hurt a lot of the time, I don't want to go deaf!!' She looked at me...taking my head in her hands and prayed. Her fingers were pressed really firmly in the side of my head and it was not actually painful at that moment. Her ministry companion laid a hand on me too. It was like the whole world stopped and God had given them both the little bit more energy they needed to receive me. Carol took my head again and looked at me....then gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead. I thanked her. My ear was not healed in that moment....but I got a moment to look into those deep eyes of love. The eyes that have seen hundreds and thousands of signs and wonders of the Holy Spirit. And the cool thing was....I was not afraid. I asked her about her knee. How was it feeling? She said it was doing so much better since California. I told her that it was my boyfriend that had prayed for her. She got bright eyes and said, 'was it really??' She said it was much, much better and that I should thank Will for her. So....Will, if you are reading this....THANKS FROM CAROL ARNOTT!

we drive back to Skien tomorrow.
i get internet in our apartment soon!
will we go to Germany for Christmas? I believe so!!!

taking the time

this is the song that I wrote for Tracy's wedding as well as the song that I played here at the women's conference in Kristiansand. Enjoy!

is this a women's conference?

i got in the small car that was going south. the women's conference was the destination. alice byberg (YWAM Skien's base leader), maria (from my team), anne-mari (amazing woman), me, and evan wilson (who we called Evalyn....for the night). we led worship on thursday for 400 women who were pastors and leaders. i played violin...and then afterward there was an opportunity to play the song I wrote for Tracy's wedding. it was perfect. so many people came up to me and told me how amazing it was....how it ministered to them. it was an honor to play music hand in hand with Carol Arnott. She was using time to pray as I played over the women. it was special. I have to believe that God used my wrestling with His heart in the month of October to write this song just for his good and perfect plan for his women here in Norway. God is good!!after the meeting we went out for a girls night---kebab and hamburgers at midnight!

maria and i

then....we were filled with joy and food and decided a girls night was not complete without some jumping on the bed. wow! this is really fun!!

maria is flying high

alice and i had the most fun on those norwegian beds. i love this picture...especially our faces.

but then, there is this photo which is fantastic. it looks so weird.
all that kebab was tossed up in me. I am surprised i kept it down. and I am surprised the neighbors did not mind all our noise.

want to see more? click here

i am not sure why i am at this conference again. there is so much spoken about spending time in face to face moments with Jesus. i really feel like I am saying... I GET IT! Yet something draws me to wonder...am I on the far edge of a season I already know or am I on the front edge of a season I am just blind enough to not see? I suppose I will wait and see.
All I know is that I want to become Mary of Bethany, to give a great big hug to Anna the Prophetess, and kiss Jesus!

making all things new

i am in my new office. i upgraded to a larger, colder, and quieter place. I have moved a desk up to the window overlooking the city square. we are in a building that has a great location in the middle of Skien. the man who owns it is actually letting us borrow it for free. I suppose if the for sale sign on my 'looking out' window was obeyed we would have to move out within 2 weeks of notice. i suppose that is something that would cause a leader to not sleep at night, but Runar...our base leader...doesn't worry. God knows what we need. It really builds my faith to be on staff here at YWAM Skien. Most of the time I am just trying to follow the meetings which go between Norwegian and English but otherwise we are discussing many issues. I find it amusing that our base is just exploding. There is NO room for anyone else to sleep here! I am surprised the teachers still want to stay there with the crowded hall and very acoustic sound levels. A topic at every leader meeting is 'housing......so...where will we put this new boy?' Ugh! If sleeping on the street was legal we would suggest it. I mean come on, we already have a camper in the backyard of our 'middle of the city house'. Crazy!

so you wonder how I can have this quiet and large office? well...the second floor of the office building (different than the prison, which doubles as housing) is the prayer, counseling, and lost and found boutiquen floor. the traffic here is light....since the store on the first floor will throw a fit if we stepped on their ceiling with anything but Indian moccasin silence. The room also doubles as a hotel for any youth that come for conferences. So....then I just hide my things I guess. I am not an office person but since I have so many relationships that are not HERE AND NOW in Norway---I am forever on the phone! Let's celebrate NEW OFFICE DAY!!Prayer Room

View out my window

My new office

Boutiquen-Lost and Found Shop

The view from behind my desk

get this!! I was just emailing my mom and dad about buying a nicer (like fashionable) winter jacket for my time here in the north. I didn't think much of it when I went across the room to the new Lost and Found Boutiquen and looked in the 'Men's and Women's Jackets' closet and amongst three items--a bathrobe, an ugly dress and a jacket----there it was. A black and white patterned coat with a furry collar. I tried it on---a little short in the sleeves, but isn't everything! I looked like I might be 39 years old...but it works. Hey! I am in Norway for this short time and since it seems like EVERYTHING IS FASHION...then I will wear what I find and call it good. Let's celebrate NEW OLD LADY COAT DAY!!


P.S. I made it onto a very important list on this other guy's blog. check out my status!!

polish kids and men in pajamas

as I promised, cookies were baked for random neighbors and Polish friends up the street. I made 50 so we (Ragnhild and I.....she was recruited for the job) made 'God November' cards and wrapped up those little chocolate covered raisin cookies . Who celebrates November for no apparent reason? We do! HAPPY NOVEMBER! Can you imagine getting a random person at your door saying that? We met a man living next door who we had never seen before. He came to the door in his bathrobe and short socks...come on! It was 2:30 in the afternoon. We were adorable....so he probably thought he was still dreaming!
but he was shocked (stunned is a better word) ...but he was the one wearing a bathrobe...so we were shocked too!
...tttt tusen ... tttakk!

but I must admit....on behalf of me and Ragnhild...this little encounter with people was just what we needed. It was fantastic to get in contact with those around us. I have discovered something more about myself and in the process, realizing a depth of my calling. These things that bring me the most joy do not always include music or leading worship. The things that bring me the most joy are connectedness with people. I am discovering my shepherd heart. I am so happy! I am so glad that I am not actually called to be just a leader of worship, but a leader of hearts! It is good....to discover peace in this. I spring to life on the inside when I have fellowship with people. To tell you the truth...the best year of my working life so far was not here in Norway, but it was working as a waitress in Orange City, Iowa. I was alive on the inside and out! I was encountering people all the time...and they were encountering the love of God through me. Now.....Lord, more love for Norway....serving, shepherding, creativity, and rest! You know how. So let's do it here in Skien. Maybe even for those Polish kids...and all the neighbors in bathrobes.

victory

i went to sleep last night. i woke up at 5am! Hallaluiah for sleeping through the night!

i just visited the DTS classroom and invited the students and staff to consider an area that they would love to be better equipped in. I have offered myself as a piano, vocal, violin, painting, dancing, drawing, theater, or sculpture teacher. I did some free private lessons like this last year and they were a HIT. I know that God has called me here to teach and to be active in the lives of the people at the base. i felt great about this meeting...and I sense that I am stepping into my calling once again. Halleluiah for hearing God's voice!

this weekend I will make cookies for the Polish family that lives up the street. I want an excuse to bless them and make a good contact. it's the best plans I have ever made on a weekend.

and by the way.....no one can ever say they had a hard distance relationship. Will and I always take the cake on that one. ha!!

wide-eyed nights

so I am going to bed at a decent time, but I am laying in my bed for hours upon hours with my eyes wide open. ever since I stepped off that bus from the train from the plane which was just one of 5 planes in two days, I have been exhausted. I just managed to conclude something about something today--three days later. I woke up at 1:30pm without the knowledge of where I was and a massive muscle ache in my shoulder on Tuesday. I showered and made my way to the office, leisurely of course. While there I was pleasantly reminded of how great the people at YWAM Skien are. They welcomed me with many hugs, 'glad you're back, we missed you!', and congratulations on the new boy! I could barely tell a story so I managed a smile. Missionaries are used to overwhelming times...they will wait for me to be ready to tell them more later. I opened my email to see 44 new! Guess how long that took me to read through? 5 hours!! I was so absent in every way.

as I slithered in bed i realized that there was this curious feeling in my skin. i somehow knew I would not sleep very well. i tossed and turned for hours. Finally after really sensing a presence of God and the small multitude of angels around me...I got up. I read, listened to some sermons, wrote in my journal, and prayed. I have been getting up between the hours of 2 and 6 every night. Doing just this. I believe I have found my purpose. I am an intercessor. I find joy in spending time in God's presence. Just being there.

it's like when I find my identity in this way I can just as well say no to other things that are in the way. it makes my choices very specific.

so I will be discovering this calling more. intercession in painting, worship, music, relationship, mentoring...and life!

any comments?

if I had a role model from the Bible that was not Jesus...it would be Mary of Bethany. She rocks!

worlds collide

California really marks the collision of many worlds. I am so honored to see of the destruction before my very eyes!!Fez & Jamie finally are reunited after a tragic international puppet separation

my man Denver meets my girl NorwayMicheala, Ragnhild, Irene & me...how we all met each other is more like a scribble on a page...not a circle, line, or arrow. It's amazing how God brings people together.

Will & I: I am so honored that he came to California to spend some time here at the conference and with me and the girls. This is a collision all on it's own.....now add it to the rest and you get overwhelmed quickly.

Of course! The Dodge truck and me. We met on the road from Sacramento to Redding. Never thought I would drive one of these babies--nice rental option that swallows gas like vitamins.


I will exit this state today.
I'll have a 3 minute goodbye to Will in the Denver Airport.
On to Omaha.
On to Norway.
On to rest.
What shall you do with me God....I'm all messed up now!

So....there's this boy....;)

So....there's this boy....;)

Meet Will StricklandMy boyfriend :)

We're in the wilderness in Northern California.... Whiskeytown to be exact.

The Sundial Bridge in Redding, California

Will is a worship leader for the YWAM base in Denver, Colorado. We are here in Redding, California to get some face time and go to a conference at Bethel Church. Its been an amazing time so far and we are both so excited about what God has for us while we are here.

shooting arrows

i am here in Orange City, IA. a week and a half ago I was in Oslo catching the fire with the base. It has been a crazy week coming to this point. we traveled, we talked, we planned, we hardly slept, we drove a car, we went to seven states in 24 hours, and we still have quite some to go. I personally am doing very well. There have been some moments though where I question my whole ministry. I question my integrity in the scheme of things. You know it is one thing to preach about spending time with God and finding our purpose for life...to glorify Him. It is another one to yearn so much in my heart to worship Him and sort of wonder how to make it happen. I do not want to live my life hypocritically. It seems one day I am looking to obey in my ever step and the result is active and outward. Other days I wish I was active and outward and I am only just thinking, pondering, analyzing my heart. Am I able to get OUT of this body. Am I able to live OUT of this heart? Am I able to reach OUT to a hungry world?

Yesterday was one of these days. I had spent two nights ago in my bed feeling my heart break for something. I have learned now in my walk with God that when I cry and weep it is not always for myself...or my own emotions. I have asked God to transform me to be like a barometer for him. My emotions, tears, anger, confusion....whatever can be a reflection of the spiritual temperature. This has been sometimes a hard concept to run on but overall God has been teaching me so much. Often the feelings I have are not just mine....but a collective feeling of the group I am in, the family, the city, the country even! It's about spiritual sensitivity. What is happening around me.....that I can not see? So as I was saying two nights ago I was just weeping with a broken heart. I couldn't explain it. I just asked God to speak to me. I felt this stirring inside. Finally after a half hour of soggy listening I fell asleep into a deep deep peace. When I awoke yesterday I was heavy with peace. Like I had soaked all night in the presence of God and he had embraced me. My broken heart had now turned strong. What an amazing experience! So as I met with people yesterday I was sharp and filled with the love of the Holy Spirit. Every conversation I had was like shooting arrows of truth deep into the heart. I can only imagine that the Lord prepares His children to be his messengers. I want to be so sensitive to the heart of God...so that when I meet His lost ones, His angry ones, His shame-filled ones, His shallow-hearted gossiping ones, His lonely ones, and His weary ones....I am as He. Shooting arrows of love.

I am tired. I need to be renewed again from a long day of archery. God is the everlasting. Without a revelation of who He is than I am still just a clanging cymbal. Lord! Give me more of your love!!!!

-erika

catching the fire

home again from a long week.

it seems as though i can not stay home long enough to have some consistency in my life. i find it a bit discouraging, however the moments I am away from home and discover something fantastically amazing about God there...i know I am walking in his providence. the only thing that is discouraging is the time I have to create good habits, good routines to keep my heart radiant. i believe that God is bigger than my routines so I just pray that I can be transformed in my mind so I can realize this bigness no matter where I go, how often, and for how long. as I prepare to leave Norway for the states I am overwhelmed. we came home last night from Oslo. i did three loads of laundry and think my sleepy roommates are ready for some home time.

perhaps many of you are under-informed---but i have entered into a very special relationship. i am happy to say that the pleasant friendship of this man of God has changed my world. you might wonder how it is to be in Norway----and is he in Norway? it is great to be in Norway and no he is not here. that is not why it is great....of course the Lord has answered my prayers from all corners of my heart. think about it like this....

once upon a time I prayed that I would find a kindred spirit friend to walk with----God answers
once upon, another time, I prayed that I would fall in love with Norway so my work here would be not in vain---God answers.

I just try to fathom how complicated it must be for Him....but it is not. He answers prayers just the timing of them are not always what we expect. so I love Norway and I have a kindred spirit in the form of a man named Will who lives in Denver. hmmm. I just keep thinking that God is good.

my time at the conference in oslo was great. there are some skeptical people that are walking around in my circles so I find it hard to express what I experienced....but that fear is not from God. So here in this context I will express! The Holy Spirit is a person and I have not been taught so much on it in my church history. I have to look beyond the things the church has taught me and try to grapple a bigger perspective. many people at this conference were connecting so powerfully with the Holy Spirit....I also want that connection. I want to know God! Just knowing God is also knowing the Holy Spirit! i think just becoming radical, and bold to take steps of faith that put my reputation, my heart, my future, my present, and my pride in danger are things that look more and more like Jesus. God is my protection and he has given me the angels of the heavens to gaurd me.....but if I never step out and live from the inside out...I will never see the Kingdom. So what does this mean? I believe it means taking practical steps of release from the busy world. I will never see the work of God's heart if I stay in the busy mindset. I am thinking of taking my team of girls (helga and maria) and just cancelling all our planned activities and just soak in the presence of God, read the Bible, paint, have time to talk with people, be filled up with that everlasting peace, interceed......and all of them done by getting our hearts clean and connected to the source. I find there is nothing else I would do. I begin to see that there are not so many people with this deep desire...and since I recognize it I must act on it. I am waiting for my hip to be healed as well. I want to dance for God. My hip hurts. So when you think about radical.....pray for that healing. I believe I have my healing!

this is much to swallow....as it is raw coming to you. do you have any comments or questions. I am up for talking about these things.

gonna go have a sabbath (I wish that was in the form of a SA-BATH...with bubbles and a rubber duckie!)

He in me,
Erika

Oslo

Hey all!

Greetings from the capitol city. I will be here from Monday until Saturday. It is the longest I have been in Oslo...and it's nice. I am staying with my staff friend Janelle (Canadian---quickly becoming Norwegian) and my DTS roommate Karen Amalie in thier sweet house. The reason I am here is because I was asked to play my violin for a conference called Catch the Fire. There is a ministry from Toronto that has seen revival for 15 years...they come and teach and preach and heal and all sorts of crazy things. I am playing in the band. Its wierd how God just puts me right in the middle of all the things I never knew anything about and get to see it. wow.

I also will be interviewed for www.lovsang.no it is a worship website. there is some interest in my story. I will let you know what comes of that and if you can get translation. Maybe my dad would do it. huh huh?

My roommate Ragnhild and I are coming to the states next week. It is a three week endeavor. We look forward to every minute of it. I hope to see some of you if it is possible. Just send a note!

gotta go catch the fire now!

Ålesund

I'm back from the West Coast now. Ålesund is so beautiful. I was inspired so much and the time that was spent was worth it. Check out my pictures here.
More stories to come.

hearing the heart

it's been a super cool adventure so far to hear the heart of God with my two girls Helga and Maria. I am so blessed to walk with them in obedience to what we sense in our guts! I have never in all my life been this close...and far at the same time to knowing where I was walking, but with the increase of faith been ready and willing to go. i of course have to admit that because of some events that were difficult in Switzerland...appointed meetings from people giving encouragements and rebuke I have grown to see a new perspective. shall I share? humbly I confess that my pride has made me the center of everything. I have been riding the pride train....thinking I was so humble. its fairly easy when the tasks at hand are not incredibly difficult but what about when it becomes difficult? is the failure my fault? or do I start leaving the blame somewhere else....hmm. I have been defending myself...my pride instead of fessing up to the weakness. Its easy for me to pretend I am strong. I guess that is what pride is---keeping your reputation. so to give you more meat...in switzerland I was opened up to the reality of my pride and how (to my prideful surprise) I actually was annoying to someone. WHAT? People dont think that I am completely awesome all the time? What a concept. oi. this is very good. I remember the feeling I had when that was said by my friend....and it was a good hit in the gut. i still feel that hit in the gut....but it's how I recognize the call of God. the tough love and the asking---will you change for me? will you transform to my image? will you lay your pride down and obey? I want so desperately to hear the heart of God. I struggled quite a bit when I was in this music thing for the performance of it. I stopped hearing the heart...and I almost stopped having compassion for the lost. one great man of God in Switzerland told me to always have a good judge of a ministry: look at the fruit--is there compassion? is there a heart for the lost? are people discipled? hmmmm......I look at my life as a ministry ( as I am a minister of reconciliation) do I have compassion? do I have a heart for the lost? are people discipled in whom I walk with? I was saying no to 2 of 3. NOT GOOD! How is that for humbling. so let's start from the beginning again I say. what is the root of that fruit? i think that if there is no love then there is nothing. read 1 cor. 13. Perhaps I was a clanging cymbal. clang clang clang. so all I can ask is that God fills me with his love every day. he hits me in the guts with His love. now I am beginning to hear His heart. amen.

I-Wish Band in Switzerland

worship.

the idea is genuine, but the heart is hard to get to.

I just pray that all who read this will desire a heart filled with worship, surrender, and God.

it is possible that to worship you need a revelation of God....and to get that...you need a revelation of yourself. I am a temple of the Holy Spirit...what is this house the HS is living in?

So reveal yourself God.....by revealing me to me.

its not just an idea, it's possible to live.

so do it.

Journey to Switzerland

wow it was quite the trip but we are here now. Check it out!

that open window commercial

Here is a new concept. I am going to start to use this blog for my travels...since there will be quite some traveling this fall. I would love to keep you updated on where I am and what I see. You can catch up with that here. The other blog will be about things having to do with Skien.....or home....or family.....or mind boggling thoughts on the foundations of God.

So click here for SWEDEN
and here for SWITZERLAND

Nedre Elvegate 6b

VEG OUT PARTY

We bought a billion vegetables to make a smattering supply of salsa for our moving in party last night. I never cut so many vegetables in my life. No one was injured. And the salsa was fantastic!

The spread was as follows: homemade salsa, tortilla chips, carrots, broccoli, peppers,homemade dip, and coffee.

Ragnhild sets the form, Helina sets the function and I set the table.

The party was a hit! The fellowship that was had....was something we prayed for. God is good. He has set a standard for fellowship in this apartment and it was shown last night big time!

Thanks for coming to the party. Love you, The Girls from the Ghetto

I am in love!

Erika....in love

Ok.....let me explain. I am in love in more than one way. I guess you can see that the letter I wrote to Norway has worked. God has shown me a love for Norway more than I can even make up...or imagine for myself. I am so grateful that I am free to say that I LOVE BEING HERE! It is the first time EVER that I love being in Norway. Really it was an answer to prayer. I hoped that I would adjust to being here quicker than 6 months. 'God, can it be two weeks?' and it was! God is good. I am in love with Norway for the first time......if peace is love than that is what I got!

The road went twisting as shown, but it also eventually went to heaven.

Check out that waterfall, and that amazing bike MONGOOSE!

I have been on a 21 mile bike ride today. We took a mountain pass to discover the hills are fun to go DOWN not up. Helina and I are a reckless pair on the bikes. It is fun and educational. As roommates we have decided to begin making small videos teaching each other how to do things. Today was the first. Helina's bike tire popped.....then we found a bike tire.....and used it to replace. Got it on video.

WHAT DOES THIS SAY??? Can anyone take a good guess without cheating?

My two lovely roommates Ragnhild and Helina and myself have now moved into our apartment and we love it there!

moving madness. our stuff. putting it through the open window. yippee!

We have a small deck outside the kitchen window in which we can climb onto and overlook the canal. We have spent some evening hours reading, chatting, and drinking coffee there. So much peace and discovering the foundations of life and how that always equals God. mmmmm TRUTH tastes good.

On deck: it is a wonderful place to read, rest, write, and reflect

We have been studying up on how to eat better and are together looking at ways we can change our habits and make good choices. We eat alot of raw foods...fruits and vegetables. Ragnhild is really into it and it is fun to explore the options of this way of living. Our first meal at the apartment was looking this this. It was warm pasta with a dressing over a delicious salad.

Nedre Ellvegate 6b Special #1:
Ragnhild's Hot Pasta Salad



Nedre Ellvegate 6b Special #2:
Carrot Bisque and Homemade Rolls

If anyone is interested in the recipes...we can share. You give us one, we will give you one.


WHAT IS NEXT?
August: SWEDEN STAFF TRIP
September: SWITZERLAND OUTREACH
October: USA TRIP: Omaha, IHOP, Kansas, Iowa (Tracy's Wedding), California